So I’m skint
And back to eating microwave ready meals/soup and/or toast.
I’m very mentally ill at the moment and I realized the other day I don’t feel anymore, I don’t laugh anymore, it’s like there’s a wall inside me between me and emotions.
I just need to get through this week, get my projects done then get home to my parents and it’s three weeks at home with my family for Christmas 🙂
I’m looking at next year as a new start. A chance to try again. To look at this term and where I messed up and improve on it.
I’ll be less stressed, I’ll manage my time better, I’ll enjoy myself more, I’ll start on projects when I get set them and not a few weeks later so I end up with a backlog, I’ll eat healthier, I’ll manage my money better and I’ll go to the gym at least once a week.
Posts tagged ‘uni’
So I’m skint
So I’ve disappeared off the internet for months…about that…school work is falling out of my ears and it was a case of there was either nothing to write about or not enough time to write it. I’m gonna try and start writing again, it’ll probably all be via mobile as it’s quicker and easier and I can update anywhere so there may be a lack of images, but then again you can’t have it all so hey ho.
So over the last few months I’ve been made one of two student reprepresentatives for my course year group. Uni is a definate step up in terms of work and standard. I’ve had a lot of stress breakdowns and cried on my partners shoulder a lot.
I’m still the same weight and eating well, although last week I couldn’t stop eating and this week I have to force myself to eat. I’m also having to reset my body clock, because I’ve been snacking so much lately I don’t eat a proper full meal in the evening, I eat barely half so I’m having to train myself not to rely on snacks. It means I get hungry late at night a lot but it’ll be worth it.
Me and my partner are a bit skint at the moment so that’s stress, my post isn’t arriving, the DSA havent given me most of the equipment I need and I need it now…so it’s lots of little things meaning I’m very stressed at the moment.
I also wanted to get all my family and friends really nice Christmas presents…but that’s not looking likely at the moment
So in essence I’m now officially a student 😛
Well the good news is I’m all settled in now 🙂
The bad news is I’ve lost 3 pounds in 2 weeks
It’s been hectic to say the least, I got set my first project on Monday which I had three days to complete, a fashion shoot on Friday and clothes into store next week (I’m doing Fashion Design if I haven’t previously said)
I’ve also started to become the person I’ve always wanted to be but always been to afraid to be. I’ve dyed my hair black and white and had my nose pierced.
So how have I been doing with my 10 goals?
- I’ve been eating regularly and healthily I’ve only missed about 2 meals since being here and that was because I forgot to prepare for them, but I’ve also learnt to cook 😀 I’ve cooked a bacon and cheese pasta bake and spaghetti bolognaise 🙂 I did take 2 hours to cook a 40 minute meal but it turned out well so I don’t care 😛
2. I haven’t done my exercises at all…but the lift is broken and I live on the 4th floor so I’ve been walking up 4 flights of stairs for the past few days 😛 I do intend to start doing them as of tomorrow…so we’ll see how that goes lol
3. Ditto above
4. Joining a gym next week with my flat mate and a girl I met at a party 🙂
5. Have not been cycling…will start at some point when I know what times/days I’m in uni
6. I still don’t like my bust, but I’m learning to live with it which I suppose is a start. I sometimes catch myself in the mirror and think I’m fat, then I go back and look again and realize I’m not which is good. And I have days where I think “I look good today” which is positive progress 😀
7. Haven’t found a climbing wall near me, but there is a swimming pool in the gym…however it’s been drained and is being sterilized at the moment because there was an infection in the water
8. My heart is better, I can also eat and drink pretty much like a normal person and I’m starting to like more alcoholic drinks. haven’t measured myself which I need to do though.
9. I’m surviving uni very well lol… although the sleep deprivation is taking a while to get used to 😛
10. I haven’t done very well at keeping writing, but that was mainly because in the first week there wasn’t a lot to tell you about, and then in the second week EVERYTHING happened and there was no time to write. So hopefully things will settle into a routine and I’ll be able to write more now 🙂
School has taken over my life
I have no hobbies
Frustrated at people
7 years of following the rules and now in the last few weeks I begin to slip and everyone is hounding me
Sad I have to leave all my friends and family in a few months to go to uni – this is the life i’ve always known and it’s about to end
just in a bad way
and the sun owes an apology for being WELL overdue
The upside of a shit:
I may be eligible for DSA’s (Disabled Student Allowance) for uni funding, I can get up to £1,700 because of my mental illnesses
I’m on new medication for hormone problems which should help alleviate the mood swings
As I have no proffesional help until I’m 18 because of stupid rules I’m turning to alternative medicine a.s.a.p. which should help so I’ll keep you posted
P.S. Sorry for being so pissy and depressing at the moment
P.P.S. I need to stop apologizing for everything
P.P.P.S. Sorry for being sorry
well…I feel like I am. I haven’t been very successfull with the excersising I have to admit. So here is a list of my problems:
1) I am SO stressed with school = my face is greasy and my acne has come back
2) I have a stomach…which I’m still not OK with
3) I am tiny in the chest department and feel stupid and when I wear push up/enlarging bra’s I think I look super out of proportion
4) Because of stress I have had two breakdowns in the last week
5) My partner is constantly worried I’m over doing it and I’m going mad with stress
6) Teachers are forcing me to go to a uni I don’t want to. There is a very prestigious uni I could go to, but it’s far away, I’d be away from my partner and my family for the first time, if something goes wrong I’m isolated, the stress of getting the grades (BBB) was too much, I was secretly finding ways not to get good grades so I wouldn’t have to go and it is very research based, meaning I would have all of the uni’s reputation riding on my back…but I could also go to a lesser, up and coming uni which is closer to home, the grades are lower, I could go there with my partner and it’s more creative and practical…so I want to go to the lesser one but I keep getting pushed to go to the top one.
This is me…and I feel ugly