well…I feel like I am. I haven’t been very successfull with the excersising I have to admit. So here is a list of my problems:
1) I am SO stressed with school = my face is greasy and my acne has come back
2) I have a stomach…which I’m still not OK with
3) I am tiny in the chest department and feel stupid and when I wear push up/enlarging bra’s I think I look super out of proportion
4) Because of stress I have had two breakdowns in the last week
5) My partner is constantly worried I’m over doing it and I’m going mad with stress
6) Teachers are forcing me to go to a uni I don’t want to. There is a very prestigious uni I could go to, but it’s far away, I’d be away from my partner and my family for the first time, if something goes wrong I’m isolated, the stress of getting the grades (BBB) was too much, I was secretly finding ways not to get good grades so I wouldn’t have to go and it is very research based, meaning I would have all of the uni’s reputation riding on my back…but I could also go to a lesser, up and coming uni which is closer to home, the grades are lower, I could go there with my partner and it’s more creative and practical…so I want to go to the lesser one but I keep getting pushed to go to the top one.
This is me…and I feel ugly
So…Me and my partner have started cooking….his cooking skills extend to Ratatouille and mine extend to a full English Breakfast…just kidding the best thing I can cook is beans on toast. We have been cooking little cake-y things, the first one was a disaster, it looked like a stone with moss on it, but last week’s one wasn’t so bad, sugary cookie base, chocolate vanilla pudding and chocolate topping, yum 🙂 Ok, so the presentation wasn’t amazing and we called them the Blob Cakes, but I’m more aware of taste now, and this is helping to steadily build up a realtionship with food, which is sometihng I don’t have. So that’s good.
Reading the article in the last post I decided to see how I would fare next to a professional model in measurements, the Association of Model Agents say a girl should be around 34-24-34 in and at least 5 ft 8 in (1.73 m) tall. I am 30.5-26-37.5 and i’m 5 ft 8 in tall. So I’m bigger than a model…and I’m a recovering anorexic who is still way to skinny, something doesn’t seem right here. The model in the article is 33-24-35 and 5ft10 in, my hips and waist are bigger than her, she may be taller, but really?
Random fact: the original model measurements: 35.5-23.5-35.5 in (90-60-90 cm) were based on the alleged measurements of Marilyn Monroe…so how about we go back to using measurements of real people…and not mannequins?
I’ve been rather stressed with school lately as well. I’m academically capable of going to a really prestigious university, but I’m also very ill, and the stress of having to get the grades (BBB minimum) was making me too stressed and ill so I had the choice of lose the prestigious uni and go to a lesser one which I love and have my partner with me or go to the prestigious one alone…I chose the less prestigious one as their grades are BC and I can get in there really easily.
And another friend of mine has bulimia…seems it’s just taking people out one by one 😦
So that’s my update so far…