An internet 'Dear Diary' of anorexia

Posts tagged ‘friends’

FOMO – Fear of Missing Out

So the good news is that I’m still eating normally, I eat 3 meals a day and they’re healthy – no pot noodle shindig on my plate no suree ūüôā

The bad news is I’m constantly stressed I’m missing out and depressed because I think I am. Everyone is recovering from last night (I wasn’t part of it because my partner drank too much at the pre-drinks and threw up everywhere so I stayed back to nurse him :p) and my Facebook is full of people saying how bad their hangovers are, and I’m scared I’m missing out. That somewhere there is a group of people having fun or such and I’m not there.

It’s most likely because of how insecure I am at the moment. I’m finding it really hard to talk and make friends, so I’m worried I’m missing out on valuable friendship building time…even though I’m only 5 days in…most people aren’t here yet…and freshers fortnight starts next week…

So in conclusion I’m probably just being silly

I also haven’t been doing my¬†exercises…although I have done a lot of walking…not that that helps my arms but oh well.¬†Although¬†on the other hand a friend I met called Katie invited me to go to yoga/Pilates¬†with her and try¬†cheer leading, not so sure about the¬†cheer leading¬†but we’ll see how it goes ūüôā

C

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Bad Week

School has taken over my life
I have no hobbies
Stressing
Frustrated at people
7 years of following the rules and now in the last few weeks I begin to slip and everyone is hounding me
Frustrated
Sad I have to leave all my friends and family in a few months to go to uni – this is the life i’ve always known and it’s about to end

just in a bad way

and the sun owes an apology for being WELL overdue
Story of my life at the moment

Update Post #2 – My bulimic friend(s)

Last I heard my close friend ¬†is worse. It all started because a girl at her college is copying her. My friend is the popular one, and this other girl wants to be, so she began to copy my friend and to bitch really badly behind her back to try and make people think my friend is lesser. Most people think the other girl is a¬†douche, but when my friend found out what was said she began to think something was wrong with her and began throwing up. She was doing really well and didn’t throw up for a day, then she heard the other girl had been bitching again and started throwing again. She also says she eats when she isn’t hungry, she just eats…she isn’t fat…but she is always eating…even when she isn’t hungry. She no longer see’s food as food, but rather as calories. She¬†has¬†a sudden desire to be the girl that when she walks into parties, everyone says how fantastic she looks…but last time she went to a party all she’d eaten that day was an apple and some paracetamol and she ended up¬†paralytic…

Friend two finds eating is the only thing that makes her happy. She can’t go to school because her schizophrenia is so bad she can’t focus so she won’t get good grades. She can’t go to¬†college¬†because¬†there¬†is nothing to study, she can’t go to uni because she doesn’t have the grades, she can’t go to work because she’s too ill to sustain a job. She feels like her life is going no where. She eats to make herself happy, but then she wants to throw it up but because her Dad is now working at home to keep an eye on her, she can’t throw up which makes her feel ugly and dirty.

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