An internet 'Dear Diary' of anorexia

Posts tagged ‘anorexia’

It can be done


The picture on the left was taken October 2011 and I’m 7 stone 7 and anorexic

The picture on the right was taken March 2013 and I’m 9 stone 5


Lady Gaga’s Body Revolution 2013

So if you follow Lady Gaga on twitter you’ll probably have seen this already, but for those that haven’t, she recently launched a Body Revolution on Twitter.

It started with this:

Then her fans started posting themselves, skin disorders, deformities, missing limbs it didn’t matter:

Then there was this:

I’m not always the biggest Lady Gaga fan, but I do love it when a celebrity uses their fame and their power to inspire their fans and to try and make the world a better place. So if you want to get involved go to here: to post yourself or to support others.


So…What Now?

So, I’m no longer starving myself, so that side of anorexia is over. But now I have to deal with the other aspects of anorexia as in the damages it has done to my body and the mental side. So here are my aims:

  1. Continue to eat regularly and healthily while I’m at university – no skipping meals etc.
  2. Build up my core strength – I have no core body strength (stamina) so I need to build this up e.g. skipping, cardio exercises
  3. Build up my arm muscles – my arms are the part most affected by my anorexia as I never had the energy to do anything and the anorexia prevented my muscles from growing so I need to start from the beginning and build them up e.g. press-ups
  4. Join a gym – to keep healthy and build up my body
  5. Cycle regularly – I can’t drive and I hate buses so I have to walk or cycle anyway but I mean proper cycling, starting at twice a week my partner is going to eventually going to work me up to being able to do 15 miles a day (!!!)
  6. Learn to love myself – I’m doing ok at the moment, I have good and bad days, but my aim is to learn to love myself like my partner loves me, my main aim being to learn to like my bust area…because that’s the bit I still can’t stand
  7. Take up climbing and maybe swimming – my partner likes climbing and so do I, and swimming will help me get my body building up long lost muscles.
  8. Monitor my body – growth, heart and what I can eat/drink. When I should have had my last growth spurt my anorexia was at it’s worst, I wasn’t eating enough and I was exercising off what I was eating almost immediately, so I didn’t grow. So I’m going to measure my height every now and then to see if I’m growing because when I was younger it was predicted I would grow to be 5″10, and I’m only just 5″8. I have heart problems and I’m not sure if they are related to my anorexia so I’ll be keeping an eye on that. I was told I had a sensitive digestion system and would couldn’t eat fast food (I’d have a protein shock and feel lethargic, sick and have a hot flush), drink fizzy drinks (they would hurt my stomach) or alcohol (it would burn my throat). But since beating I can now eat most fast food (excluding McDonald’s “beef”), fizzy drinks sometimes hurt if I drink them fast, and alcohol doesn’t burn as bad and I’m not as much of a light weight (two bottles of WKD with 4% alcohol in each would get me tipsy).
  9. Survive uni 🙂
  10. Keep writing 🙂

So this is what you’ll be hearing about from me over the next year, I hope it’s as successful and interesting for you guys to read as this year has been 🙂



The Anorexia Diary is 1 year old today 🙂

All this began because of an episode of Supersize vs. Superskinny…so here’s the change:

June 2011: 7 stone 7 pounds, BMI: 16 (1 stone 3 pounds underweight)
March 2012: 8 stone 10 pounds, BMI: 18.6 (just normal)
July 2012: 9 stone 3 pounds, BMI: 19.6 (6 pounds into normal
August 2012 (NOW): 9 stone 5 pounds, BMI: 19.9 (8 pounds into normal)

Here are some pictures of me with other people, you can really see the change and the severity of my anorexia a year ago when I’m next to other people:

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Thank you to all of you 🙂 You have spurred me on and kept me going 🙂 Thank you for listening to my rants and riding the highs and lows with me.

Ups and downs
Swings and Roundabouts

Thank you to my wonderful partner. I couldn’t have done this without him. He’s picked me up and carried me when I fell down and felt like I couldn’t go on. I love you and hope one day I will get the chance to help you like you have helped me-although not with anything as drastic as this 🙂 xxxoooxxx

Thank you to my family for supporting me and helping me…and keeping an eye on me 🙂 your support has pushed me through and helped me get to here and now. Thank you xxx

Here’s to another good year

Anti-depressants and Body Image

So I’ve been on them for 5 days now, and I’ve been fine and feeling happy.

But today I’ve got a headache and now feel depressed and don’t like my self. My acne is still here. Where I’m growing I’ve got stretch marks. I’m out of proportion because my hips are growing and my chest isn’t. I just feel horrible.

I know I don’t write specifically about my anorexia much anymore. but that’s because it’s more mental now. It’s about my relationship with food, how I see my self and how my other mental illnesses affect it.

So it’s still The Anorexia Diary…just the next stage.

Here’s a link to a programme that was shown in BBC 4 yesterday called Girl Model about girls who are taken to be models in Japan, and the shocking truth about the modelling industry. The girls are skinnier than I’ve ever been and most of them are between 11-16. It’s very eye opening and well worth the watch.


Anorexic woman to be fed against her will

It’s an interesting article and it looks at the moral side of the illness as well, if you want to read it click here

Weekly Weigh In

9 stone 2 pounds (+1 pound)

and I feel like shit and hate myself again 😦

Easy for you to say…

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