An internet 'Dear Diary' of anorexia

Posts tagged ‘excercise’

So…What Now?

So, I’m no longer starving myself, so that side of anorexia is over. But now I have to deal with the other aspects of anorexia as in the damages it has done to my body and the mental side. So here are my aims:

  1. Continue to eat regularly and healthily while I’m at university – no skipping meals etc.
  2. Build up my core strength – I have no core body strength (stamina) so I need to build this up e.g. skipping, cardio exercises
  3. Build up my arm muscles – my arms are the part most affected by my anorexia as I never had the energy to do anything and the anorexia prevented my muscles from growing so I need to start from the beginning and build them up e.g. press-ups
  4. Join a gym – to keep healthy and build up my body
  5. Cycle regularly – I can’t drive and I hate buses so I have to walk or cycle anyway but I mean proper cycling, starting at twice a week my partner is going to eventually going to work me up to being able to do 15 miles a day (!!!)
  6. Learn to love myself – I’m doing ok at the moment, I have good and bad days, but my aim is to learn to love myself like my partner loves me, my main aim being to learn to like my bust area…because that’s the bit I still can’t stand
  7. Take up climbing and maybe swimming – my partner likes climbing and so do I, and swimming will help me get my body building up long lost muscles.
  8. Monitor my body – growth, heart and what I can eat/drink. When I should have had my last growth spurt my anorexia was at it’s worst, I wasn’t eating enough and I was exercising off what I was eating almost immediately, so I didn’t grow. So I’m going to measure my height every now and then to see if I’m growing because when I was younger it was predicted I would grow to be 5″10, and I’m only just 5″8. I have heart problems and I’m not sure if they are related to my anorexia so I’ll be keeping an eye on that. I was told I had a sensitive digestion system and would couldn’t eat fast food (I’d have a protein shock and feel lethargic, sick and have a hot flush), drink fizzy drinks (they would hurt my stomach) or alcohol (it would burn my throat). But since beating I can now eat most fast food (excluding McDonald’s “beef”), fizzy drinks sometimes hurt if I drink them fast, and alcohol doesn’t burn as bad and I’m not as much of a light weight (two bottles of WKD with 4% alcohol in each would get me tipsy).
  9. Survive uni 🙂
  10. Keep writing 🙂

So this is what you’ll be hearing about from me over the next year, I hope it’s as successful and interesting for you guys to read as this year has been 🙂

C

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Exercising

So, I have been pretty crap with my exercising, as in I haven’t been doing it. I’ve been too reliant on my partner to do it with me and remind me to do it, forgetting he needs his own time outside of me.

So I am branching out alone, sometimes I’ll do it with him which will be nice, but I’ve got to be more self-sustaining. So as of last night I’m going it alone.

My routine put together by my partner consists of:

  • 2 sets of 5 obliques (laying down, crossing one leg over the other at a right angle and putting the opposite elbow to it, to right elbow to right knee)

  • 2 sets of 10 curls (laying down, lifting body up with stomach)

  • Cycling for two minutes (this isn’t actual cycling, you lay on your back and make the cycling movement in the air)

  • Two sets of 10 side planks (you lay on your side with your legs out straight and lift the top leg up a bit, then down without the touching your ankles, so you have to hold it)

This lady is holding herself up but because of my weedy arms I lay down

  • Repeat once more and stop

I only do what my partner has set me to make sure I don’t over do myself and start manically exercising to loose as much weight as possible and start going backwards again. I might try using small weights to build up arm muscle as well…since i’m such a weed 🙂

The obliques and curls work my stomach, the plank works my legs (don’t feel comfortable with my thighs *que massive male groaning* lol) and the cycling does both. Because it’s been such a big obsession of mine (one I was doing nothing about, I just grumbled most evenings about  my figure) my partner laid it out to me as I can either learn to love my body and see it as he does, exercise to get the body I want or go back to starving myself and undo all the past months work. I’m not ready to start tackling the mental side of my anorexia yet, and neither of us want me to go backwards, so I decided to stop being a lazy bum and work on it.

I want to go swimming with my friends at some point, so I want to tone up a bit for that, so I now have a target of getting toned ready for it.

I want a stomach like this:

As opposed to this:

This isn't actually me...it's just an image from Google

I just want to be able to wear a bikini and not worry about my stomach (swim suits don’t fit me as I have a long body), or tie up my t-shirt in the summer when it’s warm and not be conscious, to be able to wear that little black dress and not worry. So there is my aim, and here begins the work.

Let’s Get Physical

Because I’ve been going on and on about how I feel fat lately my partner has decided to help me by making me exercise as it will make me feel better and stop me being ‘such a woman’ lol 😉 . We’ve mentioned it once or twice before and now he’s actually going to get me to exercise.

My stomach has puppy fat which I’m not used to and very conscious of and I’ve always had a thing about my thighs being big and no matter how much my partner says otherwise I still can’t shift the feeling. I was reluctant to start exercising,

1) because I’m a lazy bum at heart 🙂

2) I don’t want to burn off the weight I’m putting on – my partner says I wont burn it off I’ll will just turn it into muscle and it will make me feel better as I’ll be toned

3) last time I exercised was in the middle of a really bad spout of anorexia where I ate a lot less than I should and did a lot of exercising till it hurt and burning off more weight than I was putting on and starved my self down to a bag of bones. But this time I’ll have my partner here to help and he’ll make sure I don’t go into overdrive or do damage to myself.

So we have a schedule where we jog for three days a week and do sit ups for another 3, alternating between the two, on the seventh day we’ll rest…yesterday we did nothing so that’s the rest day gone. We’re going to jog around the park near by working up slowly from one lap with rests to more difficult jogs. With the sit ups we’re going to start by doing 5, resting for 2 minutes, 5 sit ups, rest and repeat until we’ve done 25 sit ups, we’re also thinking about taking up climbing as my partner used to do it a lot and has stopped so we might start doing it together, also in the summer he wants to take me  on cycle rides to work the stomach muscles as this is the bit that bothers me most.

Jogging commences today…wish me luck

C

LOL!!! :D

LOL!!!!!

Bit naughty but hey ho

Bit naughty but hey ho

the future of me xp

This is probably me in the near future xp

Quite relevant 🙂

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