An internet 'Dear Diary' of anorexia

Posts tagged ‘bikini’

Mini Update

So I have literally just got back from swimming and here is my news:

Despite being in a bikini I didn’t get self-conscious¬†at all ūüôā

So hopefully this is a step in the right direction

C

Exercising

So, I have been pretty crap with my¬†exercising, as in I haven’t been doing it. I’ve been too reliant on my partner to do it with me and remind me to do it, forgetting he needs his own time outside of me.

So I am branching out alone, sometimes I’ll do it with him which will be nice, but I’ve got to be more self-sustaining. So as of last night I’m going it alone.

My routine put together by my partner consists of:

  • 2 sets of 5 obliques (laying down, crossing one leg over the other at a right angle and putting the opposite elbow to it, to right elbow to right knee)

  • 2 sets of 10 curls (laying down, lifting body up with stomach)

  • Cycling for two minutes (this isn’t actual cycling, you lay on your back and make the cycling movement in the air)

  • Two sets of 10 side planks (you lay on your side with your legs out straight and lift the top leg up a bit, then down without the touching your ankles, so you have to hold it)

This lady is holding herself up but because of my weedy arms I lay down

  • Repeat once more and stop

I only do what my partner has set me to make sure I don’t over do myself and start¬†manically¬†exercising¬†to loose as much weight as possible and start going backwards again. I might try using small weights to¬†build¬†up arm muscle as well…since i’m such a weed ūüôā

The obliques and curls work my stomach, the plank works my legs (don’t feel comfortable with my thighs *que massive male groaning* lol) and the cycling does both. Because it’s been such a big obsession of mine (one I was doing nothing about, I just grumbled most evenings about ¬†my figure) my partner laid it out to me as I can either learn to love my body and see it as he does,¬†exercise¬†to get the body I want or go back to starving myself and undo all the past months work. I’m not ready to start tackling the mental side of my anorexia yet, and neither of us want me to go backwards, so I decided to stop being a lazy bum and work on it.

I want to go swimming with my friends at some point, so I want to tone up a bit for that, so I now have a target of getting toned ready for it.

I want a stomach like this:

As opposed to this:

This isn't actually me...it's just an image from Google

I just want to be able to wear a bikini and not worry about my stomach (swim suits don’t fit me as I have a long body), or tie up my t-shirt in the summer when it’s warm and not be¬†conscious, to be able to wear that little black dress and not worry. So there is my aim, and here begins the work.

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