An internet 'Dear Diary' of anorexia

So…What Now?

So, I’m no longer starving myself, so that side of anorexia is over. But now I have to deal with the other aspects of anorexia as in the damages it has done to my body and the mental side. So here are my aims:

  1. Continue to eat regularly and healthily while I’m at university – no skipping meals etc.
  2. Build up my core strength – I have no core body strength (stamina) so I need to build this up e.g. skipping, cardio exercises
  3. Build up my arm muscles – my arms are the part most affected by my anorexia as I never had the energy to do anything and the anorexia prevented my muscles from growing so I need to start from the beginning and build them up e.g. press-ups
  4. Join a gym – to keep healthy and build up my body
  5. Cycle regularly – I can’t drive and I hate buses so I have to walk or cycle anyway but I mean proper cycling, starting at twice a week my partner is going to eventually going to work me up to being able to do 15 miles a day (!!!)
  6. Learn to love myself – I’m doing ok at the moment, I have good and bad days, but my aim is to learn to love myself like my partner loves me, my main aim being to learn to like my bust area…because that’s the bit I still can’t stand
  7. Take up climbing and maybe swimming – my partner likes climbing and so do I, and swimming will help me get my body building up long lost muscles.
  8. Monitor my body – growth, heart and what I can eat/drink. When I should have had my last growth spurt my anorexia was at it’s worst, I wasn’t eating enough and I was exercising off what I was eating almost immediately, so I didn’t grow. So I’m going to measure my height every now and then to see if I’m growing because when I was younger it was predicted I would grow to be 5″10, and I’m only just 5″8. I have heart problems and I’m not sure if they are related to my anorexia so I’ll be keeping an eye on that. I was told I had a sensitive digestion system and would couldn’t eat fast food (I’d have a protein shock and feel lethargic, sick and have a hot flush), drink fizzy drinks (they would hurt my stomach) or alcohol (it would burn my throat). But since beating I can now eat most fast food (excluding McDonald’s “beef”), fizzy drinks sometimes hurt if I drink them fast, and alcohol doesn’t burn as bad and I’m not as much of a light weight (two bottles of WKD with 4% alcohol in each would get me tipsy).
  9. Survive uni 🙂
  10. Keep writing 🙂

So this is what you’ll be hearing about from me over the next year, I hope it’s as successful and interesting for you guys to read as this year has been 🙂

C

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Comments on: "So…What Now?" (1)

  1. You are strong! I love it! Good luck with everything, I know you will be fine 🙂

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