An internet 'Dear Diary' of anorexia

Posts tagged ‘self-esteem’

Me and My Body – Red vs. Blond/Big Breasts vs. Small Breasts

NB: If you are a blond/brunette/black haired person or if you are big breasted please do not be insulted by the following post as it is not my meant to be. It is just me saying what I found on Google. I love people with other colour hair and larger breasts and I’m sure you are lovely too, this was just me being very blunt to build up some self-esteem for myself as I feel very threatened by people who are the stereotype of sexy or more well endowed than me. I am just trying to build myself up so I can recover. Many Thanks


So…as you all probably know I am not comfortable with my body. Lately it’s got worse. So I went a-Googling to try and build some self esteem.

Firstly…I’m a red head/Ginger/Carrot Top/Oh No Her Head Is On Fire/Freckle Face which means for most people I am a no no in terms of attraction…so I looked up ‘Hot Red Heads’

Google did not say “There are no results that match your search”…instead it came up with “About 1,370,000 results (0.35 seconds)”…that’s a lot of Red in half a second. Some pictures were captioned with: “Redheads – Do we need any other colour?” and “Redhead – Epic Sexiness Personified”.

If you google “hot blonds” you get 2,780,000 versions of this:

If you google “hot red heads” you get this sort of thing:

Yes there are the obvious one’s of red’s in their underwear…but we don’t look nearly half as slutty and sleazy as blonde’s. So what this says about me is:

  • I am a rare breed which makes me more unique
  • Red hair is described as a ‘red flag to a bull’ and is a colour associated with passion and fire so it gets guys interested
  • I can be sexy without be slutty
  • And i’m more dignified
My next problem is breast size. I’m tiny. Like tiny with a capital T. So I googled big breasts and little breasts and compared.
Some one else (unsurprisingly) was doing the same debate of big vs. little. I have to say small suits her better, the big makes her look out of proportion and the majority of guys would want her for her tits…sadly.
I wandered round various Google debates and foun it from many different sides…man/woman/girl who wants implants/guy who doesn’t understand the  fuss and this was the general concencous
  • Guys do not like implants as they are harder than natural
  • From a guys point of view it depends on if they are in proportion i.e. size 4 with DD’s bad, size 12 with DD good
  • They really don’t mind as much as they are made out to, yes they have an opinion, but it isn’t the be all and end all of physical attraction
My Bonsai Breasts is an article I found about a woman with tiny breasts and her epiphany years later about how it doesn’t really matter what size they are and to learn to love them.
007 Breasts despite the name this is not a site of beautiful Bond Girl style breasts…it is just normal people and their breasts, from completely flat to E Cups + it is just women and their normal breasts, whether their droopy, perky, have huge or inverted nipples, massive areolas (the circle around the nipple) they’re all here. They come here and write their stories and show what they have, and it’s all 100% home grown goodness. In  The Normal Breast Gallery there are hundreds of women, and looking through the images and stories made me feel better about what I have and let me know I am ‘normal’ as normal covers everyone without surgically enhanced breasts.
I am a red head and my partner loves me for it, I am not an ugly carrot top.
I have small breasts and I don’t have to feel ashamed to admit it because this is me and I am what I am.
So if you are at a stage like me of coming to terms with yourself…the mantra I literally just came up with to repeat to yourself is:
This is me and I am what I am

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