An internet 'Dear Diary' of anorexia

Posts tagged ‘mannequins’

My New Idols and How I’m Going To Boost My Self-Confidence :) Part 1

I realized my biggest cause of my self esteem is because I’m still subconsciously idolizing mannequins which aren’t shaped like real people, they’re based on real people…but should come with a health warning to let you know you’re not supposed to look like this…as I’ve spent years thinking my hips, thighs and stomach were too big, my boobs were too small, my hair wasn’t glossy enough, my posture wasn’t right and my legs weren’t long enough.

Warning: I'm faker than Katie Price

So with encouragement from my partner we devised a plan:

  • New idols
  • I have to complement myself on one physical aspect of mine a day
  • I have to praise myself when I do things good/right and tell my partner 10 things I praised myself for
  • To be more committed to exercise…
So I went in search of a body to idolize…I don’t really like celeb culture and they all screw up at some point so that’s a no no…modelling is a minefield…so I Googled “Good bodies” and after some searching I found this:
Ooh look…real women…real bodies…real proportions…so far so good. This then led me a section of Glamour Magazine’s website where they are celebrating real women’s bodies and super models who aren’t super thin. The first thing I found was a section from the magazine’s editor: On the C.L.: Are You Ready to Start a Body Image Revolution? Oh, Wait–You Already Did! saying how after the amazing responses they got back from Lizzie Miller being included in one issue of Glamour Magazine they will try and put a bigger variation of body sizes in the magazine…so more normal women. The article about the picture was called Supermodels Who Aren’t Superthin: Meet the Women Who Proudly Bared it All I took the images and women’s stories from here to make my own Inspiration Posters which I’m gonna stick by my mirror, so whenever I look in the mirror and feel dissatisfied I can look at them and feel better:
Feel Free to use if you want 🙂 I then read These Bodies are Beautiful at Every Size which is about how the people’s desire for magazines is changing, people don’t want waif thin models, they want real beauties, British Vogue editor Alexander Shulman personally wrote to big fashion brands asking them to provide bigger sample clothes at fashion shoots, rather than clothes for size 0-4, give them bigger sizes so they can use bigger models and models don’t have to try and fit the clothes rather than vice-versa, it also outlines Glamour Magazine’s new revised proposal which includes frequently larger models. The image that started this all off was this:
The majority of replies that flooded the magazine were supporting her, saying how beautiful and inspirational she was…but some people said she was promoting obesity…SHE’S A SIZE 12!!!! HOW IS SHE IN ANYWAY OBESE?? OBESE!!!!!
but here’s the accompanying article about the storm it started: On the C.L.: The Picture You Can’t Stop Talking About: Meet “the Woman on p. 194”

Mass Update

So…Me and my partner have started cooking….his cooking skills extend to Ratatouille and mine extend to a full English Breakfast…just kidding the best thing I can cook is beans on toast. We have been cooking little cake-y things, the first one was a disaster, it looked like a stone with moss on it, but last week’s one wasn’t so bad, sugary cookie base, chocolate vanilla pudding and chocolate topping, yum 🙂 Ok, so the presentation wasn’t amazing and we called them the Blob Cakes, but I’m more aware of taste now, and this is helping to steadily build up a realtionship with food, which is sometihng I don’t have. So that’s good.

Reading the article in the last post I decided to see how I would fare next to a professional model in measurements, the Association of Model Agents say a girl should be around 34-24-34 in and at least 5 ft 8 in (1.73 m) tall. I am 30.5-26-37.5 and i’m  5 ft 8 in tall. So I’m bigger than a model…and I’m a recovering anorexic who is still way to skinny, something doesn’t seem right here. The model in the article is 33-24-35 and 5ft10 in, my hips and waist are bigger than her, she may be taller, but really?

Random fact: the original model measurements: 35.5-23.5-35.5 in (90-60-90 cm) were based on the alleged measurements of Marilyn Monroe…so how about we go back to using measurements of real people…and not mannequins?

I’ve been rather stressed with school lately as well. I’m academically capable of going to a really prestigious university, but I’m also very ill, and the stress of having to get the grades (BBB minimum) was making me too stressed and ill so I had the choice of lose the prestigious uni and go to a lesser one which I love and have my partner with me or go to the prestigious one alone…I chose the less prestigious one as their grades are BC and I can get in there really easily.

And another friend of mine has bulimia…seems it’s just taking people out one by one 😦

So that’s my update so far…

C

Me, Myself and I

I’ve recently been having trouble with my anorexia again and feeling out of proportion and ugly so I went searching for what REAL woman’s bodies look like. I’ve always looked at mannequins as my idols and have only recently realized they are not the true proportions of a woman as their hips are too thin. So I went looking at what a real woman looks like and came across an interesting article which I thought I would share

Click here to read it, it’s all about thinner women earning more, but men preferring curves not bones from women they are in relationships with.

C

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