I’m expecting my self confidence and new found “I look ok” to crash soon.
My breasts are becoming wonky.
The left one is becoming significantly larger and the right one is lower.
Just what I need.
Also I don’t enjoy food anymore. I’m just not interested. Which means I’m going backwards. It might be a side affect of the anti depressants as they can make you loose your appetite.
This is not what I want or need. I was just starting to go somewhere. And now I seem to have turned around and run the other way.
So I’ve been on them for 5 days now, and I’ve been fine and feeling happy.
But today I’ve got a headache and now feel depressed and don’t like my self. My acne is still here. Where I’m growing I’ve got stretch marks. I’m out of proportion because my hips are growing and my chest isn’t. I just feel horrible.
I know I don’t write specifically about my anorexia much anymore. but that’s because it’s more mental now. It’s about my relationship with food, how I see my self and how my other mental illnesses affect it.
So it’s still The Anorexia Diary…just the next stage.
Here’s a link to a programme that was shown in BBC 4 yesterday called Girl Model about girls who are taken to be models in Japan, and the shocking truth about the modelling industry. The girls are skinnier than I’ve ever been and most of them are between 11-16. It’s very eye opening and well worth the watch.