An internet 'Dear Diary' of anorexia

Hooray for Acne

So lately I’ve been suffering really badly with my acne. It doesn’t show in the other pictures because I either Photoshop myself or it wasn’t visible then. It’s stress related and with exams looming, low self-esteem, family problems and feeling like I fail my partner (I go through periods of time when I don’t feel good enough which is nothing to do with how he treats me, it’s just my mental psyche at the time) as well as other problems my acne has come back with vengance.

Which is making me feel ugly because it hasn’t been this bad in a while. I know it will go away but because it’s there it makes me stress about it…which means it gets worse…so I get more stressed etc

So I was browsing on the internet and I found a video of a girl who also has bouts of acne like me and she uses this concealer to hide it. I watched her put it on and even just a thin layer of it on her face hid all the spots and just left a bit of redness. Wow. Thing is…I’m very against foundation for several reasons:

    • it feels like face paint
    • it can make your spots worse
    • it takes ages to put on
    • powder gets all over everything
    • I don’t want to end up like this(my partner says he’ll stop me before I end up looking like this lol):
  • I don’t want to go orange or have weird looking skin
  • I don’t want to end up like the girls with horrific foundation lines and foundation on so thick it actually starts to clump on their faces

But with my self esteem falling fast and with my partner’s support-the spots don’t bother him, he just wants me to feel more confident-I’m off today to see what I can find. I want something light, that works, that wont clog my pores or stop my skin breathing and covers the spots quickly and effectively and doesn’t cost stupid amounts of money. It also has to mach my skin down to a T. I’m not gonna buy something that feels like face paint, makes the spots worse and makes me look a funny colour. End of.

I also think I look too masculine. My face shape is horrible. I’m a weird shape. My boobs are too small. My legs are horrible. I can’t stand the sight of my self at the moment so I’m doing my makeup not actually looking at me, just looking at what I’m doing. So rather than just walking round feeling like crap I’m going to try and combat this as once exams are over I’ll chill and my spots will go. This is just a cover up because I’d rather be able to just focus on my exams than worry about how I look all the time.

Here’s the girl with the awesome concealer (MAC Pro-longwear concealer NW20):

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Comments on: "Hooray for Acne" (2)

  1. The Blogger said:

    Yeah, I saw that girl too on youtube. Actually, I had suffer from acne too and still has been from time to time, but lately, I don’t have acne except for few scars that are left. You wouldn’t really turn orange or something as long as you find the right shade of foundation and concealer. You will get cakey though sometimes, but that is because of the weather, but you can fix it up by applying a good moisturizer first so you will have a smooth skin to work with, so the build-up will not get visible once you put your foundation. Back before, I used foundation and concealer because of my sever acne. But, I realized that if i keep putting foundation and concealer, I will just triggering the break out and will get worse, so I give my face a rest. I went bare face for a week, and felt really really bad, buut then I embraced my face regardless of it. I tend to get shy though, very! Then from a week turned to a month and now, my breakout calmed down and stopped. I don’t use make up anymore, except on special occassions, but I use concealer sometimes only to cover under eyebags but not putting on my pimple. I regularly wash my face too, twice a day but with no soap.
    Good luck and stay beautiful 🙂

  2. Try mineral make up – it won’t clog your pores and the assistant at the counter will find the perfect match for your skin. Some mineral make up is expensive (the brand I use charges about £20 for a foundation pot but the powder has lasted me over a year) but they are worth it.

    Also wash your skin at night to remove make up, use a moisturiser with no added chemicals and don’t wash with soap! Cold creams/sensitive skin cleansers are the best to remove make up/oil/etc from your face.

    Good luck!

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