An internet 'Dear Diary' of anorexia

Mass Update

So…Me and my partner have started cooking….his cooking skills extend to Ratatouille and mine extend to a full English Breakfast…just kidding the best thing I can cook is beans on toast. We have been cooking little cake-y things, the first one was a disaster, it looked like a stone with moss on it, but last week’s one wasn’t so bad, sugary cookie base, chocolate vanilla pudding and chocolate topping, yum ūüôā Ok, so the presentation wasn’t amazing and we called them the Blob Cakes, but I’m more aware of taste now, and this is helping to steadily build up a realtionship with food, which is sometihng I don’t have. So that’s good.

Reading the article in the last post I¬†decided¬†to see how I would fare next to a¬†professional¬†model in measurements, the Association of Model Agents say a girl should be around¬†34-24-34 in and at least 5¬†ft¬†8¬†in (1.73¬†m) tall. I am 30.5-26-37.5 and i’m ¬†5 ft 8 in tall. So I’m bigger than a model…and I’m a recovering¬†anorexic¬†who is still way to skinny, something doesn’t seem right here. The model in the article is 33-24-35 and 5ft10 in, my hips and waist are bigger than her, she may be taller, but¬†really?

Random fact: the¬†original¬†model measurements:¬†35.5-23.5-35.5 in (90-60-90¬†cm) were based on the alleged measurements of¬†Marilyn¬†Monroe…so how about we go back to using¬†measurements¬†of real people…and not¬†mannequins?

I’ve been rather stressed with school lately as well. I’m academically capable of going to a really prestigious university, but I’m also very ill, and the stress of having to get the grades (BBB¬†minimum) was making me too stressed and ill so I had the choice of lose the prestigious uni and go to a lesser one which I love and have my partner with me or go to the prestigious one alone…I chose the less prestigious one as their grades are BC and I can get in there really easily.

And another friend of mine has bulimia…seems it’s just taking people out one by one ūüė¶

So that’s my update so far…

C

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