An internet 'Dear Diary' of anorexia

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So despite deciding to change, I realized the other day I’m now just avoiding the problem and finding ways around it, for example;

When I don’t want to eat any more (not that I’m full I just don’t want to ¬†because of me mental psyche over food) I persuade a friend or relative who I know is hungry to eat it “with” me, this normally means they eat and I pick small pieces to make it look like I’m trying and to cover the fact that I’m stalling. This is because I hope they will finish it and I wont have to try. I then tell myself it’s best that they eat it than to let it go to waste, but it’s all just lies to tell myself I’m getting better when I’m really sitting in the same old rut doing the same old thing.

Suddenly getting better seems a whole lot harder

C

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